Dear NYT Magazine,
This story is a joke, right? What would Miss Perfection's insane mother have done if her overachieving superstar daughter had only gotten into all the schools she applied to, but hadn't gotten a full ride? Would she have denied her the opportunity to attend college at all? After all that "application station" effort? Because the tuition would stretch their meager, upper middle-class finances? Obviously not. She would take out a second mortgage, sell the car and the dog, and highlighted loan repayment deadlines on a large Staples calendar bought for the occasion. So why the drama?
You just wanted to paint a portrait of crazy people, NYT Magazine, and pass them off as typical. But I know you're secretly laughing at the Devlins, and I know this because the URL for the article page is "neurosis.html." You thought I wouldn't notice that little sleight of hand, didn't you? Well I did. I know that, sitting in your cubicles in New York, you are chuckling softly to yourselves, legs propped up on the desk, thinking how witty you are for making a buck off America's college fetish. Combing it with America's equally vigorous parenting fetish. Two bucks. You are so clever, NYT Magazine.
However, after this tale of horror and doom, you may wish to reconsider your decision to publish the actual writing of these wunderkinds. Because they suck, NYT Magazine. These people are crappy writers and lazy thinkers who cling desperately to platitudes about life being "what you make of it" and rage against the over-commercialization of their tender little souls, completely oblivious of how much they themselves have contributed to it. Basically, NYT Magazine, they are just like me. And when they are as dumb as I am, how am I supposed to believe that Miss Perfection of the "neurosis" article actually exists?
Better planning next time, NYT Magazine.
Sincerely,
Miss Self-Important
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
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11 comments:
this is funny.
also, where did all the "anonymous" anti-brooklyn comments come from? i demand that you defend my maligned homeland. or maybe i should start a blog about brooklyn? clearly it would draw readers.
BROOKLYN RULES.
nuff said.
OK, since that may not be enough to say, the NY Times magazine used to be a great and relevant document, that one would savor.
However, as the price of the NYT goes up, its relevance, thickness, and quality have gone down. I have so given up on reading that rag.
Or in brooklynese,
Yo! Da Times? It sucks.
yikes yikes yikes. this is why everyone is paranoid these days-- because of these ridiculous articles.
Julia: I don't know, but I never feel as inclined to respond to anonymous commenters, except my mother. And yes, I do think you should start a blog, defending Brooklyn or whatever else. JuliaBlog! I will even make you a template.
Glenn: Actually, I think it's gotten thicker, certainly in terms of online content.
Jennie: Fortunately, I think they only affect the 2% of America that is East Coast elites.
The internet can't have thickness.
Why not? A poem can have depth.
Depth in a poem is specifically related to its content.
You might argue that internet news has "thickness" in the sense that the NYT's website has a lot of links.
But thickness in newspapers is related to both a tangible observation and a conception of substantiality. Yes, a website can convey a sense of professionalism and depth of coverage, but you can't gather this by picking it up and holding it.
Also, who cares about the internet. What good is a newspaper if you can't whack someone with it.
It was just a metaphor.
ok, maybe i will.
you don't have to make me a template, though. i'm not that high maintenance, unlike some other roommates you may have had in the past.
Yeah, but I was bored.
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