"Indicate whether you think each of the following must be achieved before a person can be considered an adult."Alex and I have spent a lot of time debating these responses. Alex thinks that the choice of subjective moral benchmarks for adulthood instead of concrete events is basically a good thing, whereas I think it's troubling. She points out that what really identifies these responses is their individualistic view of adulthood; that it's about individual attainment of certain goals rather than an understanding of one's relation to and need for other people. I think that it might be nice that people venerate adulthood so deeply that they identify it with such lofty moral accomplishments, but at the same time, I wonder if making such accomplishments the prerequisites for adulthood might put adulthood out of the reach of many people? And if irresponsible, selfish, philosophically inconsistent people are just people who haven't reached adulthood yet (rather than flawed adults), should we hold them less accountable for their actions, like we do children?
TOP FOUR ITEMS (% Indicating "Yes")
Accept responsibility for the consequences of your actions - 93%
Decide on personal beliefs and values independently of parents or other influences - 81%
Become less self-oriented, develop greater consideration for others - 81%
Financially independent from parents - 74%
BOTTOM FOUR ITEMS (% Indicating "Yes")
Become employed full-time - 26%
Married - 15%
Finished with education - 15%
Have at least one child - 14%
At the same time, only about 57 percent of people aged 18-25, and 70 percent of those aged 26-35 consider themselves adults. The rest say they both are and aren't yet adults.
I wonder if holding up these morally demanding benchmarks for adulthood is a way of actually shirking responsibility, or putting it off until a vague future point when one feels "ready" to accept it. Alex points out that, once you have children, you pretty much have to live up to the first three benchmarks or you'll be a bad parent, and my boss claims that, in fact, once people do have children (assuming they're not teenagers who are getting knocked up), they stop entertaining these dippy notions about "what it really means to be an adult" and just consider it a done deal.
Thoughts?
6 comments:
I don't think being responsible, affirming your own beliefs, considering others, and supporting yourself are "lofty moral accomplishments." Those are pretty basic requirements for self-sufficient and decent functioning in 'the real world'.
But yes, "adulthood" - defined as such - probably is out of the reach of many people. And no, we shouldn't hold them less accountable, as that only enables them. Lastly, I don't think having benchmarks is a way of shirking responsibility - but how you perceive benchmarks is a sign of your maturity: those for whom adulthood is "out of reach" will probably scoff at the four items listed above (which are really pretty simple criteria), whereas more mature people, while they may recognize that they fail to meet the criteria, at least accept their validity or the validity of some set (though making it that subjective could get iffy).
Those are requirements for successful functioning, but many people aren't successful. I'm not arguing against benchmarks, just fluffy subjective ones. Also, I'm arguing against a view that the point of adulthood is something determined solely by the individual rather than the society.
Aren't successful at what? Functioning or in general? (not being facetious, I really couldn't tell from your wording)
Also, I don't those benchmarks are "fluffy subjective." Just because they aren't quantifiable doesn't make them fluffy. And I don't think having something as a benchmark for being an adult, makes that benchmark "the point" of being and adult. For example, being strong, agile, trained, and disciplined are benchmarks for being a soldier, but they aren't the point of being a soldier.
I mean the point as in, "the point at which one becomes an adult" not "the purpose of adulthood."
Those might be benchmarks for successful functioning, or happiness, but many people are neither functional in those regards, nor happy. But they're still adults.
Ah, gotcha. I think I would still disagree though.
Rita, when we had kids we were too tired for several years to worry about our beliefs or values. It seems more important now that we have a teen and an tween (the teenager asks us what we think, and the tween pushes on enough boundaries that we have to figure out what is important enough to us to take a stand about).
I do think that these not entirely precise benchmarks, which I would describe as fuzzy rather than fluffy, are significant when one becomes a parent. It's not I find myself referring to my personal philosophy on a day to day basis, but I think that it's a lot easier to be consistent with your kids if you have a settled picture of yourself, and young children are much happier and better behaved if their parents are consistent.
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