Thursday, August 27, 2009

A typographical Public Service Announcement

Dear writers,

The era of the two spaces between sentences is over. Actually, it ended in about 1993, with the widespread adoption of word processing, but evidently news of its demise was not passed on to American grade school teachers, who continued to labor under the delusion that it was necessary. But now is the time to stop once and for all.

Two spaces after a period are used on a typewriter in order to allow readers to more easily distinguish between sentences in a block of text. Word processors, however, recognize periods and automatically leave extra space after them, rendering your added effort redundant and extremely annoying for editors, who have to go back and delete one space after each period in your entire work.

Save editors and your spacebar: Erase the space.

Miss Self-Important

EDIT: Actually, the above instruction is apparently not true if you're using Courier or some other of the small subset of non-automatically spacing fonts. But, if that's the case, please consult the memo about how font choices are for designers, and Times New Roman is good enough for you.

On morale improvement through materialism

I was not very happy with things, so I bought a bicycle from the 1960s, and now I feel better.

Monday, August 17, 2009

An open letter to Miley Cyrus

Dear Miley (if I may),

I regret to inform you that it's not actually just "the climb." How fast you get there and what's waiting on the other side matter too. Please take note.

Miss Self-Important

Monday, August 10, 2009


Monday, August 03, 2009

A moving lament

Here is a list of problems with my current living situation, not all of which are irresolvable or will remain unresolved:

1. It took 15 hours to drive here from DC instead of the estimated eight.
2. I am sitting on my suitcase stealing a patchy wireless from the neighbors on my laptop that's running our of batteries because:
A. I have no chair.
B. The current tenants forgot the password for their wireless.
C. I have only been able to locate one outlet in my entire room, in the corner farthest from all possible electronics placement.
3. My room is TINY. Really tiny. Like, when I lived in the 5402 in Hyde Park, we had this bedroom off the kitchen that only had enough space for a twin bed and a dresser. The people living there before us had sublet it to a small Asian man, but we could not bring ourselves to sublet it to anyone because it was just so small that the possible $100 a month we could gain from it would be vastly outweighed by the discomfort of sharing the bathroom with a fourth person, and besides, what normal person would pay any amount of money to live in a room in Hyde Park that could only fit a twin bed and a dresser? So now I live in the equivalent of that room, also off the kitchen, for WAY more than $100 a month. Ok, it's a little bigger. Like, full bed, dresser, and desk bigger. But that's max capacity. No bookcases. It's as though I've taken a step down from the level of comfort obtained in my third year of college.
4. My tiny room has no curtains or blinds.
5. The floor in the tiny room is slanted.
6. The current tenants are supposed to move out at the end of August, at which time, my roommates will move in. (I am subletting for August.) They have a lot of stuff. So much stuff that I can't unpack any of my stuff for fear of losing it in the clutter of their stuff, so everything remains in boxes, and my futon is in the middle of the kitchen because there is no space for it anywhere else.
7. I'm still not sure where the laundry room is.
8. The sandwich shop across the street never has any empty seats.
9. I think Harvard may actually be a theme park instead of a university, judging by the number of tourists and, indeed, tours here. Each campus tour seems to attract an audience upwards of 80 people, only a small fraction of whom resemble prospective students.
10. It takes an hour to get to Seb's apartment from mine by subway.

Unsurprisingly, I miss DC. But by Wednesday, I will at least be in Chicago for a couple of weeks, where I will not have to gaze upon the sad fact of my tilting dresser in my tiny room with its exposed windows.