9th District Doom

In the past, it was possible to attribute the terrible performance of Republican nominees for the 9th District House race to their craziness or questionable literacy. The 9th District isn't actually competitive even though Jan Schakowsky's husband is a convicted felon and she's been involved in many sketchy ethics conflicts, but Miss Self-Important has long seen it as an opportunity if played right, and she even had a plan to play it right. But then Joel Pollak played about three-fourths of her plan, and got 33 percent of the vote. Miss Self-Important is forced to conclude that the 9th District is one of those places so deeply entrenched in its habits that it will keep re-electing its incumbent even after the incumbent's death.

Onwards to my other political ambitions, then: the illustrious District 219 school board.