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Tuesday, September 04, 2012

When gardening gets tough, the tough call in cement trucks

Is lawn maintenance getting you down? Southern California has a solution for you: fill in your lawn with concrete, then paint it green. In addition to exhibiting all the virtues of a real lawn, this method also conserves water and repels insects.

This is one of several houses I've passed that has adopted this brilliant tactic, although the others fell slightly short of excellence by failing to include the green paint. Evidently, those vulgar materialists just wanted as much driveway space as possible for their five cars (but only two bedrooms). Surely this scene in what I am told is pricey Mission Hills qualifies as an example of what Joan Didion calls "a housing market in which even the least promising bungalow can sell for several hundred thousand dollars."

6 comments:

Flavia said...

My parents just moved to SD county and bought a house with a gorgeous backyard & patio: filled with plants, two fountains, a pergola, perched on a hill overlooking wetlands. . . but with astro-turf-y fake grass.

Miss Self-Important said...

I don't think what I (and I assume you) call "grass"--Kentucky bluegrass--is really ideal for this climate, so I see the dilemma. But there are a lot of excellent succulents that work instead. Or, you know, green cement.

Flavia said...

My grandparents in Fresno had actual grass--a pretty big yard of it, in fact--but it was a different variety than the grass I grew up with in the PNW and than I see out East (it looked & felt a bit like astroturf, now that I think about it).

Fake grass is hilarious. But green cement (which I'd never seen or heard of before) is a true stroke of genius.

Withywindle said...

A Japanese stone garden seems called for. I would find it soothing to send Shirebourn out to rake the pebbles, while I relaxed on a lawn chair.

Miss Self-Important said...

Withywindle, I think you're forgetting some essential things about California in this vision. It will be relaxing until one of your seven cars pulls up over Shirebourn's raking job, or Shirebourn himself.

Withywindle said...

I humbly beg your garden. Pardon. Shireborn will be raking from the SUV.