1. Buying cheapo prescription sunglasses (possibly made by lemmings out of Chinese glue?) online:
Since I wear real glasses all the time, switching between them and sunglasses is a big pain which I rarely have the good-health commitment to do regularly. So sunglasses are a low priority in my life, but the extreme, annoying sunniness of San Diego is hard to ignore. I bought a pair of prescription sunglasses about five years from Zenni, and they frankly looked like grandma glasses of the not-hip variety, so I rarely wore them and then the prescription became outdated. Recently, in response to the aforementioned climate exigencies and the need to drive in this sun-hell, I tried again. Zenni still seems to be the cheapest option for high-index lenses. After despairing over the dearth of product reviews online about these things, I settled on this pair (#823021) after finding this woman's flickr image sporting something similar and deciding that since she looked good, I would look good. Well, peeps, that's not how things work. This is in fact how they look:
2. Getting rid of that white film that appears on plastic frames when they, no kidding, dry out:
Before switching to plastic frames in high school, I used to become annoyed when my metal frames would start growing what by all appearances was some kind of indestructible green mold on the rubber nose piece. Plastic frames fortunately do not suffer this fate, but they do apparently dry out and turn kind of white. Who knew that plastic had a preferred humidity? Anyway, the internet offers several improbable solutions to this problem: 1) wash them with dish soap, 2) sand them with fine-grained sanding paper, and 3) oil them with motorcycle lube. I offer the following replies: 1) DO NOT wash them with any soap; this will make the whiteness spread even more, 2) sanding them might work but I'm afraid to scratch the lenses so that will be a last resort, and 3) you know what more women have on hand than a can of WD-40? Chapstick. I am currently testing the much easier fix of slathering the frames with Burt's Bees and letting them sit (on my face, which admittedly is kind of a greasy proposition for me) and absorb at their leisure. So far, whiteness entirely gone, but I'm not sure how often they will be requiring this deep conditioning treatment.
Public service announcement for internet posterity complete.