You can't really tell from the photo, but there is an artificial waterfall between me and the view.
Cabo's beaches are mostly not swimmable, which makes me wonder how it became such a destination for tourists. I (once again) wish I knew how to fish so I could catch marlins though. Marlins! Like the Old Man and the Sea! (That is the only context in which I've come across marlins. But now I have also tasted them, and they are delicious.) It's the beginning of the off-season here, so it's fairly empty and also 100 degrees every day, so there isn't much to do off the resort either other than walk through the estuary in the early evenings and look at pretty birds. Clearly, this place is vastly underused and its luxury wasted for months on end. Think of all the uneaten octopus, conch meat, and lobsters! Only about 10 lbs of it a day can fit into our stomachs, and getting it there is our main on-resort activity. Whither the rest? Isn't there some remedy for this inefficiency?
I have concluded that there is, and that remedy is academic conferences. I know that all-inclusive resorts are for low-brow, middle-American squares, with whom academics would be offended to be identified, but just consider how dull the current conference regime is. Conferences are already expensive to get to, they already take place at overpriced hotels, and they are already square, so moving them to all-inclusive tropical resorts would not be a radical change, but only a minor procedural reform.
Imagine this: all the conference attendees are corralled into one hotel, so they get a big group discount and benefit from more extensive "networking opportunities." The APT conference seems to work around this principle of forced or at least highly encouraged togetherness, and, lame as that might sound in principle, it's the only pleasant conference I've so far attended. The resort will have unlimited free food and drinks, facilitating what appears to be the primary current activity of conference attendees: meeting people for meals and getting sloshed. It's also a radically egalitarian approach to this activity, so no one will be too poor to partake due to income or university reimbursement constraints. Lunch runs from 11 am - 4 pm: just think of how many lunch meetings you could squeeze into that time-frame. There are also awkward-fun activities like pool volleyball (amenable to the hashing out of inter-subfield rivalries) and sunburning on the beach, which would facilitate political scientist bonding in casual settings by encouraging them to commiserate over the structural problems of the discipline, like how they are all so pale and burn so easily whenever they try to tan.
Such resorts are also child-friendly, so you can fold a vacation into the conference, bring your kids and let them loose at the kiddie pools, where they will inadvertently network with other political scientists' kids on your behalf, with probably better results than you yourself will manage. The whole family can look forward to MPSA when it's in Jamaica. And, on the other end, Jamaicans can look forward to MPSA when it brings them tourism in May or June.
The main potential difficulty my friend points out with this plan is that there may be some visa issues involved for foreign political scientists traveling to these resorts. To minimize these difficulties, we could begin this shift to the all-inclusive resort conference with beta-testing in places like Puerto Rico, where visa issues may be less salient. Beyond that, I see no problems, or at least none that are likely to make conferences worse than they currently are. Who's with me?